if i get covid-19, i'm a goner.
i'm not being morbid.
it's just the most likely scenario
I cough every single day.
my children don't want me to talk like this. they don't want me to be blase about my life. But nothing could be further from the truth.
i have so much to live for.
after years of waiting, i have two gorgeous grandchildren that i spent seven months with and was supposed to fly back to see this month.
shosha doesn't allow social media shots, and i'm totally good with that. but ansel and elowen have delighted me as much as shosha delighted my mother. i want more delight!
however, i live on gravy.
the first time i thought i was going to die was when i was stung repeatedly by hornets when i reached up to the wrong branch crossing a creek in the joyce kilmer forest. (that creek and my plunging in it is probably the reason why i'm still here)
we were miles from our car and even farther from the nearest health clinic.
my head felt the size of a giant pumpkin. i didn't think i could continue walking, even with kerry's help. i told him to leave me to get help but i wanted to say last words first.
even then, i knew that my life had been so much richer than most, that i could die content with what i had been given.
i lived and the riches continued, best of all which was my son
my next near death experience came many years later when i had a seizure and bounced on the pavement from my piaggio x-9.
i always wore a helmet, long pants and boots and bright clothing, but if it had not happened at a super low speed on a back road, i would be gone.
whenmymorningcomesaround.blogspot.com
and there have been a few other close calls....
i want to survive this virus.
and i've nagged kerry into being serious about it, too. we have sanitized and bleached anything we touch. we have practiced physical distancing ever since we returned from sacramento back in february.
we don't have masks or gloves because we didn't want to buy any when health workers were going without, but my daughter is sewing us some.
for the same reason, i would want to give my ventilator to someone else if there aren't enough.
someone like my beautiful, creative, kind, loving daughter maura who is at greater danger because of a lifetime of asthma
NOT for the economy.
NOT for the stock market
for others, yes
my greatest hope for the end of this pandemic is a different world, a world where all lives DO matter, a world that is like the kingdom of heaven
a world where the difference between the rich and the poor is not so overwhelming
a world where everyone is paid a living wage for work
a world where every child is cherished no matter who their parents are or what they have done
a world where no one has to choose between groceries or rent or medicine or going to the doctor
a world where we spend more on schools than guns
a world where my children can offer their many gifts to others
a world where we remember that we are all brothers, no matter the color of our skin or where and how we were born
i will gladly give my life for this
but not to a world that is even more divided, more filled with lies and hate, more people suffering and dying because it's an acceptable loss.
none of us knows what kind of life awaits us after death. i believe in a heaven but know that i will not understand until i arrive there.
whatever it looks like, i want to be able to fly
