i am not ready for good news

i have been lying to other people saying that i'm about ready for something good to happen.

it's not true.

i'm preparing myself for the next bad thing.


my mind is in a mental clinch waiting for the next blow.




i often find my whole body in the same clinch as i try to drift into sleep.

it's called ptsd, and you don't have to go to war to get it.

i am surrounded by neighbors with it.

i am not alone in my fear and trauma.


my world is filled with bad news and hurting people.







how do i find a way to welcome good news from this place of trauma?

i find it in the gospel.

the definition of the gospel is good news and it came in the flesh to dwell among us.

as much as anything, the gospel is hope.

and nothing represents hope as much as a baby.








as christians, we are the messengers of the gospel..... of hope

for comfort in our grief.....

for better days...

for love that never fails.

we must be both givers and receivers of the gospel.

i'm not ready for good news...... but i need it.