we always have a choice

when something is wrong... like children being murdered in their school.

we must make a choice.

and doing nothing is a choice.

so i traveled to tallahassee to join march for our lives.

years ago, i made signs and went with my best friend to columbia, south carolina to protest policies that hurt the children that i taught.

twice, i went with my daughters to washington, d.c. (which was FREEZING) to protest against a war that would disrupt the middle east for ages. (it has.)

in my saddest and most visible of protests, i shaved my head days after rachel corrie was crushed by a bulldozer in her florescent clothing. she was attempting to keep a palestinian famiiy's home from being destroyed about the same time as my country set into place shock and awe in iraq.


i felt the need for sackcloth and ashes.








doing nothing is a choice


a time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him saying "you are mad, you are not like us"
- abba anthony

there is so much madness in my country right now. i will be considered mad before i will join it.

https://youtu.be/T1WM0iqAfq0

*  students should have taken responsibility for being shot at by learning cpr as if cpr would have saved those children in this massacre

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mibdGB0FJMs

*  fox news tells survivor he's using his first amendment right to trample the  second. does this mean he should stop using his first amendment rights because some people don't like what he has said (which is not about stopping a state milia but to enact laws to prevent another shooting like the one he experienced)? why was the first amendment a top priority for the founders of this country?

http://www.chicagotribune.com/bluesky/techandculture/sns-tns-bc-guns-kids-advertising-20180323-story.html

*  the nra increased advertising geared towards young people after the shootings. making a profit from their suffering is just good business.

http://www.cleveland.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2018/03/fox_news_host_laura_ingraham_a.html

*  pundits ridicule survivors of parkland with personal attacks.

these are just a few of the callous responses in our country to the mass shooting at a high school in florida.

and the latest .. david hogg didn't get smacked around enough as a child - 4-2-18


it is madness.


attacking children for their beliefs is an unbelievable response for a country that claims to be christian.

ridiculous arguments have been presented... let's get rid of our cars because they can run over people.

a car has many uses and running people over to kill them is not one of them..
a gun has one purpose... to kill.

why was sandy hook where six year olds were killed not enough to make changes? 

if we don't care about first graders being killed, why should we care about teenagers?  i thought then that nothing would ever change.

but the survivors of parkland are fighting back. #never again


https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2018/mar/24/emma-gonzalezs-powerful-march-for-our-lives-speech-in-full-video

learning from our young leaders

one of south carolina's best and brightest, shontavia johnson, wrote such an astute article on the use of disruptive technologies in the last election.

i will not do her article justice but i would like to talk about her thoughts.

disruptive technologies are basically the technologies that change the game. she talks about their influence on four presidents - franklin roosevelt, john kennedy, barak obama and donald trump. the disruptive technologies that were used are radio, tv, the internet and twitter respectively.

even before his famous fireside chats in the white house, roosevelt used radio in a way no other political candidate had before. in a tough race for governor, he used radio to bypass the newspaper criticism that followed him throughout his political career.

many believe that john kennedy beat nixon based on the first televised presidential debates, much of it based on appearance rather than substance. kennedy prepared extensively for the first debate. he had a team to make him look good. nixon was ill prepared. he looked terrible because he refused makeup and wore clothes that were unflattering in the tv lights. nixon tried to play catch-up but he was damaged enough by that first debate to have given the advantage to kennedy in a close race.

barak obama channeled the internet as no one else had.

he was the true comeback kid.

he was well behind hillary's well oiled political machine when he started using social media on the internet.  he created facebook pages for himself and michelle. his campaign team created websites to attract youth and other specific audiences. he raised more money with smaller contributions from larger numbers of people through email. he used you-tube for videos of special events and contests.

in my opinion (not shontavia's) he was the first successful grassroots candidate.

mcgovern failed completely.

donald trump, who no one took to be a serious candidate, used twitter as his disruptive technology.

with his daily tweets promoting himself, trump was able to add followers every day and capture the attention of one of the hottest social media of the times... using 140 characters or less. his name was mentioned in ever increasing numbers, overshadowing all of his republican contenders.

as an goldie oldie, i would say that trump used twitter as the outdoor billboard medium .... just get your name out there.

while obama and clinton let their team do their policy tweeting, trump had his own without any filters... and for many reasons, it worked. his tweets began many conversations, both good and bad... but more importantly, numerous. a world of tweets were putting his name out there as a force to be reckoned with.

and it gave him so much free advertising. he spent less than any other candidate per vote. his outrageous posts put him in the position of free coverage from the traditional media of tv and newspapers as well as the internet.

of course, nothing is that simple.

shontavia certainly points this out. hers is an academic research paper on the topic of disruptive technologies using extensive references. i am not presuming to speak for her, but merely my take from her article.

please read the original article in the widener university commonwealth law school law review. mine is a poor summary of a fantastic piece.

i had many thoughts as i read her article.

my first thought was how much more significant russian interference via social media means. when social media has so much influence over voters, using social media fraudulently  may be more disturbing than that of actual voting machine fraud. it is so much more subtle and hard to prove.

perhaps the first disruptive technology was the penny press. it made the news cheap enough to be accessible to the common worker who couldn't afford the six cents. it also brought about advertising as revenue and more drama in news reporting. i can't help but be reminded of the sensationalism of fox news. it received a share of the market and an influence on the population that no one could have predicted

in each of these cases, the issues have been simplified to address the emotional needs of its audience more than to the practical methods to achieve solutions to the problems of the day.

in his presidential campaigning, roosevelt attacked hoover without giving specific alternatives.

kennedy certainly held controversial opinions, particularly on civil rights, but it was his appearance and his appeal to a better world that probably won the day.

obama campaigned on hope, one of the strongest emotions of all.

finally, trump spoke to people's discontent.

so much of the voting public is swayed by emotion more than intellect. it shows in how people maintain their beliefs even when presented with evidence to the contrary. stephen colbert nailed it with truthiness. how i feel is more important than any facts.

in all these technologies, candidates sought a more direct line to the people. i believe this is a good thing. voters want to know that they are important. these four presidents acknowledged that and sought out the technology of the day to reach them.

my last thought is why did they get the second term. i am hoping that the influence of disruptive technology meant more to their first term than to their second. i'd like to think that a president's performance in office has something to do with getting a second term.

we'll see.

the lord's prayer

our father

does that mean we are all god's children? would that make others our brothers and sisters?

does that mean convicts or prostitutes or immigrants or gay people? 

that can't mean democrats and republicans, conservatives and liberals

... gasp ... trump and hillary?

who art in heaven

you mean the one in charge, the one looking down and seeing what we do

hallowed be thy name

oh yeah, no cursing.

or doing things in god's name that are hurtful, or hateful, or against the teachings of jesus

thy kingdom come

would that be the kingdom of heaven that jesus talked so much about? 

you know the one where the last shall be first and treating the least of these is how we treat god. 

the one you must give up all of your riches for.

thy will be done

visiting those in prison, welcoming the stranger in your midst, loving your neighbor as yourself

on earth as it is in heaven

does this mean we should glory in our earth as we will in heaven? 

would we trash heaven? 

would we destroy parts of heaven to give us what we want?

give us this day our daily bread

there goes that tricky us again. 

it doesn't seem like we should be asking just for ourselves does it? 

why doesn't it say give me? 

bread is enough for sustenance.... can we eat steak and potatoes, ice cream and cake when our brothers and sisters are dying of hunger?

lead us not into temptation

let us say no to drugs that harm our body,

let us say no to sex without commitment, 

let us say no to wanting the biggest house on the block while others are homeless, 

let us say no to thinking that we are better than another of god's children, 

let us say no to greed and a desire for power for ourselves...

and deliver us from evil

what is truly evil in this world

.. it is the serial killer, 

it is the person who abuses power given them to help. 

it is the child abuser. 

it is those who use god's name for things that are opposed to god's love


the rest is an add-on, but let's look at it.



for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever

thine means not us. 

it is not our kingdom. 

it is not our power. 

it is not our glory.

none of it. 

we don't get to say how we think it should be. 

we don't get to take credit for winning souls, or being a good christian, or doing more of what's right.

a powerful prayer

we just never know

my face unexpectedly hit the pavement yesterday.

i was walking back from the store, had a man who said good morning to me as he passed, ... something i've found pretty rare here...

and then the next thing i knew my face was bouncing off the sidewalk.

it was very disconcerting as well as really painful.  the man who had passed never knew i fell while another passed me by without saying a word.

i felt a lot like the man on the side of the road that the samaritan helped.

i think i felt as bad about being ignored as i did about my fall.

i got up and managed to start walking back to maura's apartment but i was having to catch the blood in my hands and it was pouring. i kept shaking it off my hands as i walked. no one else passed me directly but several saw me and made no move to help me or ask how i was.

my only samaritan was a worker for the apartment who realized i was hurt when i passed him in the elevator. he immediately asked me if i was alright, but the door shut on him before i could answer.

(actually i just stood in the elevator for a while because i forgot to push the button)

my biggest worry at that point was that it was going to upset maura and that i might be scarred. i wanted to wipe the blood off and see my face.

maura, needless to say, was very upset... and my face looked bloody awful.

i'm pretty sure it was a seizure but they've mostly been checking out my heart.

i definitely didn't trip. i went from walking to banging the sidewalk... which was a pretty rude way to be brought back to consciousness.

i actually have great recovery and balance. i think i should get extra points for all the times i do trip and manage not to fall. most of the time i don't fall even if i trip.

four years ago i had a wreck caused by a seizure, they didn't even keep me at the hospital. they sent me home and told me to make an appointment for the neurologist the next week.

this time, i was admitted for observation, had all kinds of tests, wore a heart monitor through the night and had an appointment at a faint and fall clinic when i got out.

there is a faint and fall clinic in madison. i have never even heard of such a thing.

two things that i have written about before came from my experience.

once again, i am moved by how all the choices in our lives determines our path.

i came to madison with maura after her own emergency room visit in detroit for her back. it was the worst episode of many back episodes for maura. when we first got back, she could still barely walk... (so i came in quite handy).

since maura had a presentation to make in california next weekend, i decided to stay and keep evie and be here when she got back. it was going to be another long weekend with too much time on the plane and on buses. i wanted to be there in case she had a relapse.

if i hadn't made that decision, if maura hadn't needed me, if i wasn't retired... i would not have been in madison for my sidewalk encounter. i would not have been in a place with such a high quality of care.

the passing out and hurting myself could have happened anywhere.

but because i was there for maura, she was able to be here for me. maura knew where to take me to get the best treatment. she spoke to the doctors and nurses when i became too fuzzy to talk.

the other blog was how bad things happen.. to good people, to bad people. it's part of being human.

there's nothing special about my accident. certainly, many people have encountered worse. epileptics, in particular, have so many worse catastrophic experiences. many have multiple seizures a week with daily medications. this was only my second major incidence in almost four years.

adversity and injury are part of the human experience. it is not unfair.

what is unfair is the difference in healthcare from one state to another, from an urban area vs. a rural one... and most certainly between the rich and the poor.

i can't do anything about the unexpected misfortune that happens in my life or any one else's, but i can determine what my response will be. i can determine to be thankful for the unfair advantages i have while still working towards providing as much for others as i have been given myself.

you never know what is going to happen, but i believe we can always find the goodness god has brought from it. i believe god can always bring good from the troubles.

i believe we can learn how to be grateful in life. i believe we can learn how to be a part of the good god brings in hard times.

finally, it is so important that we see each other, that when we see someone in need, we help. even if we are afraid, even when we think it's none of our business, even if we have to go out of our way to do it.

when someone is hurting, having someone to care means so much.

like the good samaritan, we are called to love our neighbor.

a new testament life

the call to simplicity and freedom for christians is the call to move from achievement oriented spirituality to a life centered on a shared vision of relatedness to people and things, a relatedness of gentleness, of compassion, of belonging to one another
- Richard Bower

it is blasphemy in this country not to laud achievement, not to place the greatest value on those who have accomplished much. this is true in our social strata, and it is a temptation for the american church.

bigger is better.

numbers please the upper echelons of denominations.

we count the number of people saved, the number baptized, how many join the church.

it's too much like the interest in abortion that stops short of an interest in meeting the needs of children born unwanted.

once the child is here, the work is done. once a person has been counted, the work is done.

that is not the life of the new testament church; that is not the life we are called to live.

frederich buechner calls our life a sacred journey.

what a theologian is doing essentially is examining as honestly as he can the rough-and-tumble of his own experience with all its ups and downs, its mysteries and loose ends

there are lessons from god to be learned every day in the ordinariness of our lives. we are not gaining spiritual achievement, we are listening for the connections of our lives that lead us to seeing the world as jesus did,

the pharisee in the temple who expressed his thankfulness for all his spiritual achievements went home without being justified before god. the tax collector who looked at his relationship to others and found himself lacking humbled himself and asked forgiveness.

i think like zaccheus, his repentance was very specific. he had cheated others.

a tax collector achieved great wealth but lost all connection with the people in his community. his wealth was achieved by taking more than was his due from the people.

what these two tax collectors learned is that their wealth was meaningless without the community of others, without the relatedness of gentleness, of compassion, of belonging to each other.

principles that jesus taught over and over.

i have been reading simpler living, a compassionate life: a christian perspective by michael schut. it's an older book, copyright 1999.

simpler living has been sort of a fad with tiny houses, farm cooperatives, and the rise of thrift store shopping by those who could pay the higher prices; but this book talks about intentionally living a simpler life as a christian.

the intentional simplicity of a christian is not about better health or greater happiness. the simple living of a christian is about social justice and respecting god's creation. it is about sharing with others and creating the kingdom of heaven envisioned by jesus and shared with his disciples.

it is the simplicity of what we celebrate - a conversation with a friend more than a promotion at work, a casserole brought to a grieving family more than a newer, larger tv; a gathering of believers working for the greater good more than having our political candidate win.

it is the simplicity of how we live our lives. how do we think about the daily experiences of our lives? how do we treat the people we meet in our day... convenience store workers, teachers, police officers, teenagers, executives, custodians... do we treat them all as beloved by god? or do we make distinctions?

this kind of simplicity is so much more than spending less money. it means thinking less about consuming and more about creating. it means spending our time on relationships instead of improvement.

it is a simplicity that does as buechner suggests, looking at the stuff of our lives for meaning, looking to see who we are and what we have to share.

this is a simplicity that recognizes that we show our love to god by loving each other the way we are loved by god.

living a simple life is not easy.

it's everything.

my own personal jesus.

one of our favorite friend couples is sharon and dwayne.

sharon feels like it's okay to pray for a good parking space. dwayne and i are not so comfortable with that.

for one thing, the best place is the one far away so that you can put some automatic walking into your day. those are always pretty easy to find. for another, i just can't see asking almighty god to give me a good spot.

there are fine christians on both sides of this perspective. mine is right for me.

my mother was certainly a parking space christian. my daughter was reminding me about how gang gang used to tell all the grandchildren to pray for a place close to the store.

truth to tell, she probably always had a load of kids to get in and probably really did need that good spot.

it was more than that. jesus was involved in every aspect of her life.

but it was always an asking. my mama told god how she wanted it but was always open for something better if god had that in mind. and she always accepted the bad things as being on the way to the good.

my mama's prayers certainly made a difference in my life... and i think maybe a guardian angel may also have been involved.

there was nothing flippant about my mama asking god for a parking space, or her cake not to fall, or for her to find the right dress for a child or grandchild... her life was just so saturated with jesus that it was like a walking conversation in which she mentioned what was on her mind.

like i said, she always accepted whatever answer she got, whether it was a walk in the rain or the loss of a close friend. (my mama lost every one of her closest friends before she died.)

my mama prayed for my husband to have a son. i had a tubal ligation scheduled after my two girls and cancelled it because it just didn't seem right. nicholas was born five years later.

i don't have my mama's faith, but i have my own.

my parents had five children and none of us had the same relationship with either of them. the relationship between us was our own. some things were alike, but we loved our mama and our daddy according to our own experience. we didn't declare one sibling's love to be right and another one's wrong.

the same is true of faith. faith is a relationship.

i won't ever be able to pray for a parking space.

i can hardly even ask for specifics. i just have a hard time telling an omnipotent god what i think should happen in my life.

i think i know what i want, especially for my children; but i can't see the future. i don't know what's out there, and the thing i think would be best might be the worst thing ever because of things and events i know nothing about.

so mostly my prayers are pretty much help and thank you.

the gifts i have had in my life are pretty clear. i don't have to ask god about what i've already been given. i just need to be grateful.

my needs and the needs of those i love are no secret to god either. so i feel that mostly i pray for me, to get me to the place where i can be faithful and at peace.

a phrase i read long ago says it best for me.

pray as you can, not as you think you should.